Archive for December, 2009

Introducing Patience and patience – part 1

December 24, 2009

This autumn, I met Patience twice.

And I suspect that you’ll need some patience to get through this article, which for the purposes of yours, I’ll split into two parts, especially as the first is a simple story of slapstick insignificance.

Patience 1

The first Patience is my wonderful friend Tara’s (of Wildfitness fame) housekeeper in Watamu, Kenya. Patience is a huge Kenyan lady with a beautiful chubby child-like face from which two large luxuriant eyes sparkle (note the lady above is another patient-looking Kenyan lady, but not the same). Patience would turn up at the house most days with a smile and a waddle, and proceed to completely invalidate my already meagre efforts around the house. Frankly neither of us had a huge amount to do during the days, the house being small and its occupants being fairly low-impact – but my attempts to offer help were quickly thwarted and I relaxed into a somewhat guilt-ridden laziness.

I know, I know – a housekeeper is hardly in keeping with a simpleTom. Yet we must remember that Kenya is a very different place from where most of us grew up and I truly believe that the arrangement is wholly symbiotic, at least in today’s Kenya.

Whilst Tara rushed around being super-productive and I took the time to read and read and read – Patience moved slowly and deftly around the house. In the garden, the gardener proceeded to mow the four-acre lawn. When I say mow, no doubt you imagine a sit-upon mower (after all four acres is quite a spread), or at least a petrol number, or at the very least a push-along contraption. Not even – he proceeded to mow the lawn with what looked like a sharp-edged sand wedge (a golf club, for those of you not in the know). He’d move, very slowly, thwacking his grass wedge back and forth, back and forth, not so much cutting the lawn as swinging great big divots into the ground leaving a driving-range effect behind him as he continued indefatigably. He was exercising the ‘Russian/American/Chinese foreign diplomacy’ approach to lawn-mowing. Namely, the finished product was deeply unsubtle, damaging and perhaps would have been better left. Although unlike these countries, it demonstrated his patience and my comparative sloth.

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Now is the time – Hafiz

December 14, 2009
Here’s  a great poem I read this week by Hafiz about taking time and trusting yourself. I’m flying back to the UK tonight, I’ll write more from the other side – Simpletom!
___
Now is the time to know
That all you do is sacred
Now, why not consider
A lasting truce with yourself and God
Now is the time to understand
That all your ideas of right and wrong
Were just a child’s training wheels
To be laid aside
When you can finally live
With veracity
And love.
Hafiz is a divine envoy
Whom the Beloved
Has written a holy message upon
My dear, please tell me,
Why do you still
Throw sticks at your heart
And God?
What is it in that sweet voice inside
That incited you to fear?
Now is the time for the world to know
That every thought and action is sacred.
This is the time
For you to deeply compute the impossibility
That there is anything
But Grace
Now is the season to know
That everything you do
Is sacred.

A Frank(lin) guide to self-improvement

December 7, 2009

Benjamin Franklin was by all accounts a fairly prolific character. His modest resume includes, being a founding father, an author, a printer, a scientist, an inventor, a soldier and a diplomat. In his time aboard planet earth, he invented the lightening rod, bifocals, a stove.

Many of us are plagued by an overwhelming plethora of self-improvements we’re just waiting to subject on ourselves. New Years eve is perhaps the perfect example when resolutions come a-tumbling forth and you decide you’ll become a vegan non-smoking teetotal exercise freak (and mini-dictator). Sure enough, after a week of self-flagellation, you relapse and become a cigar chomping, meat-eating slob (a republican? – whoops, sorry).

Franklin realised that despite the will to improve, doing so all at once was confusing, often contradictory and almost impossible. So, at the tender age of 20 (fret not, people grew up a lot earlier in those days) he came up with 13 virtues, which he focused on, one per week, meaning 4 sets each year.

His “Plan” was made up of 13 virtues, each with short descriptions:

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.

2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.

3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.

4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.

5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.

6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.

11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.

12. Tranquillity: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

I’m following the same idea, with my own variations and so far, it’s proving to be a much easier, simpler way of dealing with the process of working on the self. Here are mine, in brief:

1)    Health, 2) Eat and Drink, 3) Happiness, 4) Patience, 5) Humility, 6) Tranquillity, 7) Industry, 8 ) Fun, 9) Mind, 10) Kindness, 11) Compassion, 12) Impermanence, 13) Do whatever the hell I want.

I’ve yet to do a full cycle, and I definitely moved the eat and drink away from Thanksgiving week, but I’m enjoying the process and by writing about it and throwing it out into the ether, I’ve goaded my stubborn self to keep at it. My happiness week resulted in only one blemish… my eat and drink week looked a bit more like Franklin’s ‘Order’ week in the photo above, even without Thanksgiving temptations. When you take one step at a time, it’s easier to ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. It’s also easier to see where you’re going wrong.

I’m leaving his daily schedule for a decade or two which, if currently implemented, would leave me grumpy, tired and a little middle/old-aged before my time. Baby steps, but steps nonetheless.