Angling for Simplicity

We’re programmed to do things:

Get up early. Read a book. Don’t slouch in front of the telly. Be productive. Get going. Time is money. Life’s too short.

Bollocks to that.

I read a delightful interview with Chris Yates the other day – which can be found here. Not only did I love the picture the interviewer paints of this man described in his wiki page as, among other things, a ‘tea connoisseur’ (he also reminded me of the fantastic Roger Deakin), but it stirred something in me from a distant past.

Yep, I’ll come clean – between the ages of 5-15, I used to be obsessed with fishing. Fishing by scrubby ponds in the depths of London’s wellington boots and condoms, rather than alongside the majestic lochs and streams of Scotland and beyond. I loved it. In fact, I’d like to do more fishing today. Just sitting relaxed by a body of water, enjoying nature.

Chris is famous for holding the Record for the largest carp caught in British waters. However, the interesting thing is not his record, but the fact that before he spent 7 or 8 weeks every summer for seven years, not because he wanted to catch the biggest fish, but because he loved it there. Here’s a passage from the article:

PARR: And that would be your priority? You wouldn’t let a work deadline encroach your fishing time?

(At the time Chris Yates was a photographer of some note – the majority of his work designing album and book covers)

YATES: (Slightly shocked) No. No. No. I would phone people up, a new client maybe, and they would come around and really love my work, and I would have to say to them – “Before we talk about jobs, there is something you should know – I am a photographer, but before that and above that, I am a fisherman, that comes first.” Some of them would look aghast, and say, “we can’t do business then – we’re wasting one another’s time,” and off they’d go. But the good one’s would say, “That’s great – you can come and tell me some fishing stories between jobs.”

But I’d always say that – first I’m a fisherman – then I’m a photographer.

And then I’d be offered a new job and clients would say, “Look, you’ve got a three week deadline on this.”

And I’d say, “Well I’m off to Redmire tomorrow.”
“Redmire? Ahhhh…”

There was no argument. They would just say, “Will you have time when you come back – to read the novel and do the cover?”

“Yes… there’s bound to be time…”

So, yes, Redmire did become my second home – actually my first home, the one with bricks was my second home. And I think I got to know it better than anyone else, I just loved being there.

For fear of repeating myself, this was before he was a record-breaker. In fact, the record only came as a result of his not conforming to normal ambitions and spending time off, rather than time on.

Follow your passions. If you love it somewhere, stay – regardless of whether it conforms to other peoples’ view of what you should be doing, or how it fits into your plan for global domination.

“In most work, success is measured by income, and whilst our capitalistic society continues, this is inevitable. It is only where the best work is concerned that this measure ceases to be the natural one to apply.” – Bertrand Russell in The Conquest of Happiness.

As ever, if you liked this post – please share…

Ode to Life and Africa

It was with great sadness that I learned that one of my friends passed away last week.

Even though I wrote about impermanence recently, it is still hard, so very hard, to know such a colourful life is no more.

I remember spending a month sitting on the shores of Lake Malawi next to my friend, playing games of mbau, diving into the crystal clear waters and heading off for kayaking trips and other such palandromic delights – giggling all the way through.

She was a lover of life and laughed more in her 31 years than many do in 90 years.

I hope she will forgive me for the somewhat triteness of a blog post in her honour. However, in tribute to and in celebration of her and that time in Africa together, here is a list of things that make Kenyan existence so special, and life so worth appreciating:

  • The continual, unabashed laughter, friendliness and smiles that are ready at the slightest provocation from everyone you meet.
  • A willingness to spend time doing the things that matter, like spending time with family, or just chatting.
  • The sense of community.
  • Everyone here has time for you. It is impossible to get anyone to rush (even if you are in one). Time isn’t money.
  • People can spend hours waiting without the need for iPhones, newspapers or distraction.
  • Children, who run free and happily without the need for overprotection. Brothers and sisters look after one another.
  • The sparkle in peoples’ eyes.
  • A complete lack of efficiency, which worries nobody (save for the tourists).
  • Acres and acres of sunshine. I can’t remember what it’s like to feel the cold. Poor me.
  • Kindness – people with nothing will give you everything they have if you need it more than they do.
  • A mixture of sweat, sunshine, good unprocessed food and inevitable exercise makes life here inevitably healthy.
  • Nothing has a fixed price.
  • Everything out here is difficult, yet nothing is impossible – you can get anything done, if you have the patience.
  • Being outside all the time. Our house has no windows we live and sleep in the fresh air, 24/7.
  • Nature is all around us, from bush babies in the garden, to ants attacking any dinner that has been left out to long. We’re within 20 minutes drive of an elephant watering hole, where we will be going tonight with ‘Tuskers’ to hand to watch these majestic creatures slink (yes, elephants can slink) out of the bush.
  • The ocean, with its myriad of blues, greens and delights. From kitesurfing atop the waves to plunging beneath them.
  • The dancing – never have I seen bottoms move so majestically and, of course, suggestively.
  • A lack of caution, whether that be climbing to the tops of rickety ladders, night time adventures or just a healthy sense of abandon.

I know that she enjoyed these things, further confirmed by her demands that at her memorial service there, ‘be no black, no girly hymns and a party afterwards with plenty of booze.’

It is with her in mind, I try to appreciate each day.

I’m very sad to be missing the service, as I miss her… and my heart goes out to her friends and family.

Home Is Where the Heart Is – Why You Should Rent


I'm sitting somewhere in the middle of this photo

As I write this the sun is hunched over Fort Jesus, casting its glare over the waters of Mombasa harbour. Soon it will slink between the crenulations and vanish fast, as the African sun is want to, precipitating the Old Town across the water from me to light up and the evening prayer calls from the muzzenims to remind us that another day has past.

Swallows, swifts or perhaps both wheel overhead, and the tide slowly retreats, as they both have for thousands of years, despite the human intrusion.

I’ve just come back from a swim in the harbour, which starts at the end of the garden I’m staying in, right opposite the heart of the Old Town. The water is clear, blue and refreshing – surprising given the industries and people that press against its edge.

A friend has lent me his house here as he heads to Nairobi to sell furniture he has made from old dhows. He is a wonderful, giggling Captain Jack Sparrow-esque man. The man Aiden Hartley describes as ‘Mud Prawn’ in his diaries.

He bought this plot of land for very little when it was wasteland, because it was the closest plot he could find to his beloved surf break. Now there is a multi-million dollar development that is pounding its foundations into the earth right next door and the haphazard house he built with his own hands and the half-acre plot it sits on is worth over a million dollars. He is faced with a quandary – whether to sell the plot and live for the remainder of his days off’ve the profits, or remain poor as he is, but with one of the most spectacular views I’ve seen of a city that bristles with life, energy and licentiousness. Fortunately he is angling for the latter, concerned that his love of a good party might result in him parting with the money rather too quickly and without the memories it deserves.

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The Work Life Balancing Act

"I just want to work to live"

People should not consider so much what they are to do, as what they are

- Meister Eckhart

My natural inclination, for whatever rebellious reasons, is to try to avoid ‘work’.

As a child, lessons bored me. I always did the minimum needed to survive, get good grades and tow the line. Yet I adore projects, ideas, creativity and entrepreneurship. I will happily commit to evenings and weekends towards something I consider ‘fun’, even if many might call the same ‘work’.

This phenomena seems to be increasingly ubiquitous. When does ‘work’ shift from being fun to being arduous, from being useful to superfluous? How can we maintain the fun and manage the arduous whilst (and this is a whilst that many forget) ensuring that we are deeply fulfilled and create meaning.

A latest fad in the blogosphere seems to be to avoid hard work and focus on the fun and travel – from the highly successful Tim Ferriss’s 4-Hour Work Week (and now the 4-Hour Body), to Vagabonding, taking time off from your normal life, or personal quests to visit every country.

Ferriss states, in his wildly successful book:

I will take it as given that, for most people, somewhere between six and seven billion of them, the perfect job is the one that takes the least time (Page 9).

I disagree. Ferriss ‘takes it as given’ and this results in a good book, yet one that encourages people to be highly self-centered and peripatetic and avoid responsibility wherever possible. Ferriss uses the word job loosely – meaning things he doesn’t want to do. In fact, he is a workaholic, but he claims that the things he enjoys don’t count.

Yet my dislike of this is hypocritical. I see that I am guilty of the same, and I don’t like it.

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Simplicity is complex

Both very simple and very complex

My experiments with simplicity have resulted a few different permutations, culminating in one of the best years of my life (to date). Yet simplicity is an ongoing journey that brings sacrifice as well as reward and pain as well as pleasure.

Since July I have been living one version of the simple life here in Kenya – lounging cat-like in the rays of diminished responsibilities and time. Despite the absence on this platform, Simpletom has wiggled on, in the form of two first-drafted chapters of a book.

Simple living can, as you might imagine, be the easiest thing in the world, leading you effortlessly though the days. At other times, pursing simplicity can provoke a host of paradoxes, as you scrabble to maintain a simplicity that tangles the more you pick at the knots of complexity.

Simplicity isn’t always simple. There is an ever-changing balance that must be gently observed, or the pleasures of simplicity can remain beyond reach, the irony of which serves to goad.  It would be comic if it wasn’t so frustrating when you find yourself unable to live simply. It should be simple, right? I mean it’s there in the bloody phrase. Simple. Cue some of Murphy’s best legalese.

Yet it’s not always easy. If it were, we presume, it would be ubiquitous, given how rewarding it is.

One of the most interesting and important lessons that I’ve learned this year is to give light touch to the moments when life can appear complex, despite your intentions to the contrary. How to explain this eloquently?

I’ll try: When trying to live a simple life, things can often conspire against your intentions. It is only when you let go of the desire for continual simplicity that the complexity that has formed reduces somewhat and you find yourself where you wanted to be. The more you try to shift the balance, the harder the obstacle. Yet when you want something, it’s almost impossible to let go of that desire, even if the letting go is the solution to getting where you want to be. To use an analogy, it’s like trying to sleep when you can’t – the harder you try, the harder it gets.

Life doesn’t have to be complicated. Think of our citizens of Ladakh and Kenya. Our education systems train us to try hard and become experts, yet with sleep or simplicity, this can often take us further from our goal.

Relax. Take your time. Be gentle with yourself. Accept things as they are. Accept that there will be periods of life which work against you, no matter how hard you try to wriggle free. Enjoy this moment, even if it includes pain, suffering or sadness. Take on the moments that don’t seem to work. Enjoy times that teach you, even if the hurt. As my great friend, musician Jim Kroft says, “Suck it up”!

Over-expecting

It’s been a while (again) since I last wrote.

I’ve been away (again). After all, Leonardo da Vinci said,’ Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer’. I’ve merely dropped the ‘every’.
My mum once said to me that she worried about me because I ‘expected too much from life’. Given one should always listen to one’s mother, I had a good think about this and decided that she was almost certainly right. I’ve since reminded her of this and she now claims that she has been misquoted, but I’m going to stick with this because I like it, and I’m obviously still deeply rebellious.
The less you expect from life, the more likely you are to be surprised by the results. The more you expect, the more likely you are to be disappointed.

Modern media enables us to envision the trappings of the rich and famous. Our education system teaches us that almost anything is possible. Success is a universal goal. Every entrepreneur can be a Richard Branson with the right combination of hard work, luck and skill, so they say. Even the less talented can achieve the greatest heights – cue Liam Gallagher and Sarah Palin. How many people go through their teenage years expecting that, one day, they will be happy, rich, famous, satisfied? I’d guess quite a few. How many achieve all four? Not many.

Yet the less you expect, the more likely you are to be pleased with the results. I’ve learned, through listening to my mother to expect very little – which means that I constantly feel like things are going rather well. Yet I know others whose lives are much fuller than mine who are constantly disappointed because their actual life doesn’t live up to their exalted expectations.

I was once queuing up for a visit to No. 11 Downing Street for an event (yup, that was a bit of unashamed showing off, but it’s true and it sets the scene… so there). I remember looking over and seeing someone I knew who was still in their 20s who at the time was one of the most successful young entrepreneurs around. As an entrepreneur myself, I remember feeling a little envious of his success. Then, he noticed another entrepreneur who was more successful than he was and told me how envious he was of the other entrepreneur. Finally, perfectly on cue, the third entrepreneur spotted another entrepreneur who was THE most successful entrepreneur of the day in the UK and expressed his jealousy. There I was, sitting at the very bottom of a massive bundle of envy on what should have been a day when we all got more than we expected.

With that in mind, I’ve realised that the more you fantasize about what might be, the less you appreciate what is. As ‘ABC spirituality’ as it sounds, I try to enjoy what’s in front of me and expect a little less. I’ve been amazed at the difference it’s made to my mood, to my stress levels, to my enjoyment of things.

Thanks Mum.

Development for the past, the present and the future

IMG_0193A photo of yours truly, truly blending in…

I’ve recently arrived back from a 2-month holiday. None to bad in anyone’s books and that’s probably partially to blame for my current somewhat dreamy perspective. On return, I wrote a letter to a friend which I felt encapsulated some of my key thoughts about development and being in the moment that I wanted to share.

I sincerely hope that my friend doesn’t mind my repeating some of the words that were a personal note to her and that you don’t mind my somewhat stream of conciousness-esque thoughts, which were tumbled into the letter. Here goes…

Long ago, especially working in Madagascar and other parts of Africa, I’ve questioned whether the big white land rovers, the good intentions and the money, effort and suffering of development workers, really actually does much to help… or whether it hinders. Certainly when you look at Ladakh, for example (I read a great book called Ancient Futures – see my post on the book here), you see that in touting the latest development tools, us do-gooders actually did a lot more harm than good. In fact, the last thing they needed was ‘development’. They needed to maintain the delicate equilibrium that they had fought for many generations to develop. Things like high child mortality, low incomes, disease etc were all actually just natures way of balancing the system and ensuring that this equilibrium was maintained. But then in plops the WHO and the American tourists, who can’t believe that people live in such squalor, ‘I mean, some of the babies had dribbly noses and the children were so dirty’, and we introduce roads, and vaccinations, and education systems, and tools and machines… and voila. The equilibrium is upset, the local farming methods die, the population booms and suddenly you have a load of apathetic youngsters desperate to escape to a better life, which in reality is to slums in cities with no community and nastier conditions, so that they can become the next 2Pac and while away their days, if they are one of the million who make it, in an empty apartment full of modern art and revolving water beds that are hard to share… and a bunch of old folks who remain behind lamenting the lost simplicity of the past with grandchildren to look after them.

My own sense, is that the key is just learning to enjoy and not worrying too much about whether or not we’re making big bucks or big impacts. The next stage of my journey is to truly work out what I enjoy and to maximize that enjoyment in the long-term, rather than seeking the little, immediate highs that feel powerful but leave you with little to show for it. Being an Epicurean, in the true sense of the word (rather than the over-indulgent sense of the word).

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The Most Valuable ‘Self-Help’ Course Ever (Yet It’s Free) – Vipassana

meditation

Earlier this year I did a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation retreat and wrote a blog post on Bright Green Talent, which I wanted to share again, because even 6 months on, it continues to have a powerful effect on the way I think:

Vipassana one of those things that I was a little coy about beforehand – after all, people have all sorts of predisposed ideas about meditation, retreats and talk of spirituality. Strange that – why are people wary of engaging in activities of self-exploration? What is it that relegates even the most balanced of people into the ‘wafty’ box when they embark on such wholesome, secular ventures as yoga or meditation?

Vipassana has a fascinating setup – it is a charity that ONLY takes donations from people who’ve completed a 10-day course. This ‘try before you donate’ indicates the benefit the course brings to those who attend. It would be like going to a restaurant and voluntarily paying for what you thought the meal was worth, or a shoe company asking people to pay for their shoes after you’ve worn them for a month.

Armed with this information, as well as positive reports from books and friends, I ventured off to Hereford for this course. With wake-up gongs at 4am, 11 hours of silent meditation a day, and little personal experience, I will admit to a great deal of trepidation.

What can I say? It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done… and one of the most rewarding. When faced with nothing but your own mind for stimulation for 10 days, you are forced to accelerate through the peaks and troughs of emotion at a fearsome rate. The 10 days seem like a small lifetime: Next to me, a 20 veteran of the Greek army shed tears and a number of people quit. Perhaps stubbornness saw me to the finishing line. Some participants had attended up to 8 times previously and each, when we were finally allowed to talk on the final day, informed me that it never gets any easier.

I won’t say much more about the feelings, thoughts or sensations experienced. I’ll leave that for you to pluck up the courage and go and try it yourself. What I will say is that I will be going back in the future. It’s a lot of holiday used up in one go, yet 100,000 people a year benefit in indescribable ways and bring a newfound knowledge and peace back to their everyday lives.  And if I were a little more dictatorial and in the position to do so, I would force everyone on one… after all, the world (and the environment) would benefit no end from people getting to know themselves a little better.

Serious amusement

Serious amusement

I’ve read a lot of books on spirituality, self-help, personal development and general self-do-goodery recently. I guess it’s because my thirtieth birthday looms and I’m still bemused as to why I’m not yet fully enlightened. Yet the reason why I bring this up is not to give myself an anti-enlightened self-flagellation, but instead to wonder whether these ‘improving’ books compound rather than aid the suffering. The reason — most of these books lack one of life’s greatest improvers — humour. In fact, I’ve got the feeling that many of these books that profess to be filled with inner-wisdom serve only to to compound my seriousness, even grumpiness, as I try to better myself.

I’ve looked back over these Simpletom articles and realised, despite the fact that I’ve enjoyed the writing and compiling, that they’re missing humour. And that writing something funny, as well as reading it, is one of the most fundamental ways to achieve what I am searching for, namely contentment and peace through simplicity. I wrote an article for Max Gladwell the other day, and it dramatially improved my mood, merely because it enabled me to be somewhat lighthearted. A simple remedy.

Compare Deprak Chopra with Bill Bryson, Ekhart Tolle with Douglas Adams – I think the latters have actually improved my life a little more. I’m not for a moment suggesting that Deprak and Ekhart and other scrabble-winningly named authors aren’t extremely wise and wonderful individuals, even occasionally funny -  but instead, their writings can leave people a little serious or over-zealous.

After all, the great Dalai Lama manages to be deeply funny and cheeky, whilst also being sincere and profoundly wise at the same time. Humour is perhaps hard to handle when you’re talking ‘deep shit’, but I’ve got a feeling that those who can juggle the two benefit the most and that many self-helpers miss this phenomena as they preach.

So, without further ado, I will try to lighten up my posts and add some humour and even, god forbid, some flippancy, without loosing too much of the sentiment and solidity. Feel free to call me out if I descend into banality, or if my jokes leave a little to be desired and I shall straighten up my tie, remove the squirting flower from my lapel, and rename myself Tomzecq.